Healing Steel

There are all kinds of relationships and there are just as many reasons why relationships dissolve. Right now, I am married to a wonderful guy who has filled many voids in my life and I have no reason to leave him.

My first marriage, however, was dissolved because of my husband's meanness towards me. These cases always start with the breaking down of the emotional strengths. That way, when the physical abuse starts, it's often expected and, sadly, accepted and even defended.



It's difficult to get out of toxic relationships. It's not as easy as walking out, especially when children are involved. The beginning of the end often starts when the victim realizes that "this isn't right." Only then can they take steps to distance themselves and hopefully not get killed in the process. (really!)

My story of an abusive past is terribly common. For many people, the abuse is present and has no sign of ending. Victims are also often in denial that something is wrong. Sometimes they know something is wrong but they are ashamed of it and pretend that all is well.



Abuse knows no social class. It knows no race, religion, age, sex, or how one relates to the next person. It cannot be assumed that this or that person is not involved in an abusive situation. Even the superstars are not immune.

Tina Turner is a tough ole' broad with a bigger-than-life voice who rocked the nation in the 60s and 70s with her husband, Ike. It wasn't until later we learned that Ike was beating her bloody on a daily basis during that time and she would meekly apply makeup to cover the bruises so she could sing and make more money for him.

It took a while but something clicked in her and said, "This isn't right!" She took some life-changing chances and managed to escape.



Her story gave me strength. It was one of the many factors that led me to realise that something was not right with my own life and there were some serious changes that needed to happen.

My road has been long and complicated. My ex is severed from my life, but there are still scars, flashbacks, setbacks, and nightmares. Little by little, I have moved past many of the wounds. At times, I can still be very mousy, weepy, indecisive, and shy, but it's because it's who I am and not because of what he made me into. I am who I am IN SPITE of him!